UnCharted Territory

Sunday, June 11, 2006

How much?

I have spent my whole life building a wall around myself. The people closest to me are the ones able to walk past my defenses. Some others I let in when I am able to. The rest I keep at bay. I do not remember a time when I question this mentality of mine. Until now.

Why do I feel the need for distance and space? Why do I have this inherent fear of being too attached or caring too much for someone? Why do I hold back?

I feel like the wall I have painstakingly built all these years is rapidly being broken down. And it scares me. It seems like I cannot do anything but stand by and watch helplessly.

There is, after all, no such thing as a candy colored world with a rainbow over the sky, sparklingly green grass, and all things sweet in between.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I am happy. And yet… I worry. I fear. And I question.

The best thing one can do for one’s self and for others is to give. There is nothing like seeing the smile on another’s face when receiving something sincerely given. There is nothing more uplifting than giving just for the sake of giving.

Perhaps the best way to love is to give… without expecting anything in return.

The question I pose is this : Is there a limit to giving?

There is so much one can give. How much is too much??

1 Comments:

  • At 1:05 PM, Blogger keeprollinon821 said…

    I read your blog today...just browsing through some. No, I don't think there is a limit to giving at all...giving makes us feel better, giving helps people through things. It's a good thing. Too much giving is when it is just for show...like giving 1000 to church just to be a showman. Give humbly, and give it your all. That's my opinion.

    Smiles :)

     

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