UnCharted Territory

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Bygones

When you have intense feelings for someone… be it love or hatred, the other party usually remains completely oblivious. Hence the one person affected by such feelings will be you. Let’s not talk about love. Hatred is probably the worst feeling one can harbor. It makes you sick in the stomach, it gives you indigestion, it makes you completely inefficient. And what’s worse, it turns you into a grouchy old woman/man.

I have always been relatively benign when it comes to dislike for people. Surely it is impossible to like everyone. But when I do dislike someone, I simply stay away from them and never ever let them get to me. But then again, it is easy to not let someone you don’t see much get to you. What happens if you see them every single day ?? *shudder*

I have decided it is simply not worth it to lose sleep over someone you don’t care much about. I value my own peace of mind too much to hold grudges over petty things. And besides, there are more important things to worry about.

So… everybody chooses which side of themselves they want people to see right? It doesn’t necessarily mean not being ourselves; it just means adjusting to different environment/situations. I suppose it isn’t entirely feasible to show our true colors stark naked all the time. But when they are shown, it doesn’t mean all form of civility and respect for other people fly out the window.

No matter how much we do not see eye to eye and no matter what we think of each other, it does NOT warrant rudeness. And it certainly does not warrant any form of spiteful behavior or thoughts. For my sake, I propose a very sound suggestion.

Let bygones be bygones.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The test of true love

It is almost a week since my mom went back home to Malaysia after a short visit to Perth ( apparently to check on whether or not I am eating properly ). Having her here makes me realize how much I really miss being with my family. Whilst she was here, we talked a lot… about the present, the future, the past… What touches me most is the fact that my mom came here solely for ME. Not because she wants to travel, visit new places or take a break from life in Malaysia; but because she wants to make sure I am settling in well, adapting to life and not to forget, eating proper nutritious meals. I am truly touched. Nobody can love as selflessly and completely as a parent. Nobody can love as deeply as a true love.

Speaking of true love, I am reminded of my mom’s account of her love story with my dad. I have always been told fragments of their story by dad but during her recent visit, I was delighted to be told mom’s version.

Dad was 18 the first time he ever set eyes on mom. He was having lunch with friends and she was riding her bicycle on the way home. This is what I remember dad saying to me ‘ I knew the moment I saw her that she was the One. ’ He invited mom’s colleague to his birthday party and conveniently extended the invitation to mom. And this is what mom had to say about the party ‘ He never left my side the whole night. ’ Shortly after getting together, dad went to UK to study. Mom stayed in Malaysia to work. During the first four years of their relationship, they saw each other only once every year and communicated via letters in between. When mom was 20 and dad 22, mom flew to UK and they married in spite of objections by various less significant relatives. During the first 2 years of their marriage, mom worked while dad studied. Life wasn’t always easy but it was made bearable because they had each other.
After dad started working, mom never had to work again. They made a family of six. To this day, my parents still give each other a peck on the lips before either one goes out. They still hold hands. They still enjoy each other’s company. They still listen and talk to each other. They still respect one another. Life isn’t always perfect but it is mostly happy.

This is not the love story you watch on TV or read in books. This is real life. The fact that it was love at first sight for my parents made it all the more romantic. But the part that shows true love is the journey they have taken together to come this far. It is the fact that they stayed together and loved each other in spite of hardships and unfavorable circumstances. This is true love.

I tend to be very circumstantial in my thinking. Speaking of love brings to mind the fact that one of the mind boggling questions that I have always been unable to answer has finally been answered by this one phrase.

How do you differentiate between an Infatuation and Love?


Love isn’t a sudden falling in love… and it is not all emotion; Love should be patient, kind, generous… It should bring out the best qualities in you

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The cursed G

Define gossiping.
If you talk to people long enough and you feel comfortable with each other, conversations have a tendency to flow naturally towards something deeper than “I lurve this new pink gloss by Stila” or “I’m good, thank you. How was your day?”. If you like someone enough to want to be friends with them, then naturally, you want to know more about them. How do you do that? By talking to them! Ask them questions! Get the conversations flowing! The following questions are what amount would be too many questions and how do you know when you are probing too deeply?

Fact : Everybody has different limitations. The only way to know what someone’s limit is, again, by talking to them. When you know where the lines are, don’t cross it!
Fact : Everybody talks about other people. It doesn’t mean they criticize or viciously backstab those people. Have some faith in human conscience!
Fact : When you start spreading untrue rumours or when you tell people personal things about somebody else, then, yes, you are gossiping. Bear in mind though that there is no smoke without fire.
Fact : Almost everybody gossips. It is inevitable to talk about the people living within the same society as yourself. It is when you spread vicious, baseless lies that will affect other people’s lives or when you break a confidence and start a chain reaction of rumours that gossiping becomes harmful.

Gossiping however, is NOT asking people to talk about themselves. You are also NOT gossiping if you keep what you are told to yourself. Gossiping is when you do not know to whom and when you should SHUT UP.