UnCharted Territory

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Purpose

If there is a reason
Tell me and I will accept
If there is a lesson
Teach me and I will learn

Show me the way
Summon if you must
I will follow where you lead
In your footsteps I shall trail

Where can I search
How shall I know?
When I am lost
How do I find my way back?

Doses of luck and twists of fate
Did I really believe I was fine?
Foisting content and many a fraud
Fool that I am I fell for it

Moments lost forever gone
Impossible feats I never try
Memories remain in shades of gray
In my own way I try to learn

Yet your guidance I need
Your wisdom I sought
Help me find my way
‘tis my plea to you.




Thursday, September 22, 2005

Ramblings

I have heard the question often enough, even asked it several times myself.
‘What do they have that I don’t?’

To the many people whose mouths I have heard utter these 7 words, myself included, it is perhaps the wrong question to ask. There should not be a comparison in the first place. As cliché as it sounds, the phrase ‘We are, each and every one of us, unique in our own way’, is an age-old wisdom we should never forget. Things have a way of taking care of themselves. Patience is key. In the meantime, simply revel in the freedom of being young with a weekly/monthly allowance!

Some of the many enjoyable ways to spoil ourselves while we still can:
1) Häagen-Dazs creations – Sheer Heaven. A must try for all living, breathing people without diabetes.
2) Chocolate Spree – Anyone walking into a duty-free shop without splurging on imported chocolates must be off their rocker.
Obviously, the list is endless. But right now, ice cream and chocolates are foremost in my mind, being 2 of my most recent indulgences.

Note to self: MUST go jogging.

If real life can be like the life of Bridget Jones…
I would be diabetic
I would weigh 250 lbs
I would be dating Colin Firth
I would have an affair with Hugh Grant
I would be a total and complete klutz
I would be all that and a ‘world famous journalist’ to boot

Small Significant Squirrel mentioned in passing that day, the abundance of sad posts in people’s blogs recently. And I have to agree with that. Which is why I am trying hard to think on the bright side and be positive. Which is why despite being hit with my random bouts of depression again, I shall instead dwell on the blessings in life… like Häagen-Dazs, like chocolates, like Chad Michael Murray, like Jeffrey Archer…

Anyway, CNS SUCKS.

I propose a toast to Lord Chesterfield who said :
‘Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination; never put off till tomorrow what you can do today’.

In other words, grab every opportunity to take pleasure in every passing moment. Do whatever you want, whenever you want. Do not put off enjoying life. After all, you cannot do at 70 what you can do at 20.
I have a feeling my interpretation is not exactly what Chesterfield had in mind…

I just found out a mooncake-eating contest was recently conducted in IMU. Apparently, the record was 6 mooncakes at a go. I am a huge mooncake fan, but this… this is just too gross. Mooncakes are a delicacy…every single bite should be savoured and enjoyed. The weird things people do…

I am rambling. This is what happens when we know we should do something and yet we dread it so much we try hard to distract ourselves with other less pressing matters.

I sound a bit like a drunkard, not unlike you, Mayann.



Monday, September 19, 2005

Aimee

Sure, you made me wait a long time. The sight of your room gave me crossed-eyes. I developed a pounding headache helping you pack. I can’t remember the last time I was coated in so much dust. I nearly went into a coma from lack of sleep. I almost keeled over from starvation.

Still, I can’t remember a time when I appreciated your presence more. I can’t remember the last time I saw a better looking guy than the one we saw in the airport. I never realized how vulnerable a mother can be when all her baby girls are far away. I never understood the complexities of a man caught between his ego and his affections. I forgot how uplifting it is being in a chocolate shop!

I guess what I am trying to say is, I would gladly live this day again if only to be with you and the ever enjoyable Mei a little while longer.
The good news is, in a few years’ time, you, Mei, Fie, Jamie, Sam, Vonne, E Da and I will all be able to gather together again and reminisce about the good ol’ times. Until then, let the good times roll!

Get Real

If you think you are good at what you do… Wonderful
If you think you are doing very well… Great
If you think you have what it takes… Good for you!
If you believe you will get there someday… I wish you well
If you believe you have achieved a lot… Congratulations
If you are really all that you think you are
And still you remain grounded
And still you stand tall with humility
You are really who we think you are!
If you think you are better than anyone
Anyone at all
Think again.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Bleak Start

Finally, we have reached the Central Nervous System. The good news is, I am now so tired of the last minute slaving I have been doing since Semester 1 that I solemnly promised myself I WILL STUDY CONSISTENTLY. MSK system marks the end of my procrastinating days. Too late? Well, better now than never.

And hence, with the thought of turning over a new leaf firmly in mind, I enthusiastically prepared myself for the first 2 CNS lectures on Monday. Upon entering LT1, I promptly seated myself on my favourite seat, which is right at the medial corner of the second row, and proceeded yakking away with J. It was some 10 minutes later that I suddenly realized somebody was droning on the microphone. I looked up with a start and was hit with another realization. Our CNS coordinator speaks French. Then another shocking realization almost blew me over. Our CNS coordinator is my PBL facilitator. After a short speech that I honestly cannot really remember, who should take over the microphone but the one person whose lecture I never fail to dread. A man who speaks Greek. Needless to say, I cannot really remember much about this lecture/introduction as well. The next lecture, thankfully, was better (Never mind the fact that I was late and had to take the dreaded solo walk to my seat, bag in tow). The use of real life models for the demonstration of Physical Examination drew quite a bit of laughter (some forced, some genuine) that would never have come about if based solely upon the speaker’s sense of humour.

The bad news would be two separate incidents that brought the day down another notch. The first incident made me feel pissed and at the same time very sorry that a good friend was unduly treated in a shitty manner. The second incident was hearing news of a friend’s loss, which made me feel very sad for her and her family.

Sad to say, the lectures on the second day of CNS weren’t much better for two very simple reasons:
1 ) I do not understand Greek
2 ) I detest embryology

These past 2 days bring to mind the famed story of the tortoise and the hare. Despite getting off to a rather bleak start, with persistence and perseverance not unlike the tortoise’s, I am sure it is not impossible to reach the finishing line safely and victoriously.

When I think about it this way, I honestly do not mind all that much being likened to a tortoise.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Closure

Soon, it will be time to start a new chapter. Soon, I will look back to this year as the year I end 21 years of being my parents’ little girl. Soon…

The thought sends chills down my spine. The time has come… even before the realization fully hits me. I am forced to turn around, come face to face with the past. I am wont to review everything… see the past 21 years of my life sprawled like a canvas for all to see.

I have mixed feelings seeing what I see. Happiness, disappointment, amusement, shame, all blending together with a touch of melancholia tossed in and a single thought in my mind; Not enough.

Ever the optimist I remind myself I still have 3 months. That means 3 months of rectification. It is not too late. Before finally bringing a close to this huge chapter, I need, more than I want, to make several changes. Endings, be it in fairytales, movies, stories or even real life, should always be good.

Question : Is it true that in our hearts, we all believe we should be doing better?